My Child Is Extremely Picky or Won't Eat
Daily Routines- “You don't have to eat everything. Can you try one bite of the new thing? If you don't like it, that's okay.
- “I notice you're not hungry. That's okay — your body will tell you when it's ready. Your plate will be here.
- “What does the food feel like in your mouth that you don't like? Squishy? Crunchy? Let's figure it out together.
- “Let's pick one new food to try this week. You choose it. We'll make it together.
“You're not leaving the table until you eat.”
Power struggles over food create anxiety around eating — which reduces appetite further. You can't force hunger.
“There are kids who would love to have this food.”
Guilt doesn't override sensory aversion. It just adds shame to an already difficult experience.
“You liked this last week!”
ADHD and sensory processing mean food tolerance can genuinely change day to day. Consistency isn't how their system works.
“Just eat it. It's not that bad.”
For sensory-sensitive children, it might genuinely feel 'that bad.' Dismissing their experience makes meals a battlefield.
Food issues in ADHD come from multiple sources: sensory processing differences (textures, temperatures, and flavors are experienced more intensely), medication-related appetite suppression (stimulants peak during lunch, killing hunger), executive function demands of eating (sitting still, using utensils, managing a multi-step process), and rigidity/inflexibility common in ADHD. Asking about the sensory experience ('what does it feel like?') shows you take their experience seriously. Offering control ('you choose') reduces the rigidity response. And removing the power struggle ('your plate will be here') keeps mealtimes calm.
Keep a quiet log of what they actually eat over a week — you'll likely find more variety than you think. If they're on stimulant medication, work with their doctor on timing: many families find a larger breakfast before medication and a later dinner after it wears off work better than fighting the midday appetite crash.
If picky eating is extreme (fewer than 15 accepted foods, gagging at new textures, significant nutritional gaps), look into ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder), which co-occurs frequently with ADHD and sensory processing differences. This is a real condition — not 'just being picky' — and responds to occupational therapy, not discipline.
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