My Child Won't Get Ready for School
Daily Routines- “Good morning. Here's what's next: [one task only]. Shirt on. That's it for now.
- “I can see mornings are hard. Let's just focus on the next step — not the whole list.
- “You have 10 minutes before we need to leave. Would you like to get dressed first or eat first?
- “I'm going to be in the kitchen making breakfast. Come join me when your shirt is on.
“Hurry up! We're going to be late!”
Time pressure activates anxiety, which shuts down executive function. They actually move slower under pressure.
“I've told you a thousand times...”
Repetition without scaffolding doesn't help ADHD brains. They need systems, not lectures.
“Why can't you just get ready like your sister?”
Comparison is devastating for ADHD kids who already know they're struggling.
“You're old enough to do this on your own.”
ADHD executive function lags 2-3 years behind peers. Expectations based on age alone set them up to fail.
Morning readiness requires sequencing, time awareness, task initiation, and sustained attention — all executive functions that ADHD impairs. A child's ADHD brain sees 'get ready for school' as one overwhelming, vague task. Breaking it into single steps ('shirt on — that's it') reduces the cognitive load to something the brain can handle. Offering choices ('dress first or eat first?') gives a sense of control, which increases cooperation. And body doubling ('I'll be in the kitchen') provides the external structure the ADHD brain lacks internally.
After school, if the morning went better than usual, name it: 'This morning was smoother. Did you notice? What do you think helped?' This builds self-awareness about what works. If it went badly, skip the debrief — they already know. A hug and 'Tomorrow is a new morning' is enough.
Prepare everything the night before: clothes laid out, backpack packed, shoes by the door. Every decision eliminated from the morning is one less drain on executive function. Some families use a visual checklist posted on the wall — pictures for younger kids, a whiteboard for older ones.
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